Life in Kansas City is just wonderful. We have fallen in love with our newest addition, Miss Anna Claire. She has stolen my heart and has become an amazing and much adored part of our family. Her big brother, Phinneas like us, adores her!
I can say that I am now acclimated to the Midwest. The one caveat being my adjustment to the Midwest heat and humidity. I am much more confident when I get in the car and find my way through the Kansas City area and can actually do this much of the time without assistance from Siri. We have eased into a daily routine which I have craved for some time now. This has allowed me to also go into the prayer room several times a week which is a wonderful time of refreshing for me. Phinneas has become a ready learner as he experiences the Intro to Ihop (like father like son). He asks us to take him to church and see his teachers. He has also made friends, is learning to pray for orphans on the map, he is learning to pray . and he knows where Jesus lives.
This is so close to my heart as his mom. I want so much for him and to see him take advantage of where we are at, especially at his age. He is just soaking it up! Just today as I was driving him to CEC (intro), he was telling me he wanted headphones. His request followed our family being in the prayer room last week and daddy letting him use his ear phones to watch Thomas the Train. Since then, he’s wanted to wear them again but his ears are too small so they just fall out. He’s started asking and asking so when he asked again today, I told him to pray to Jesus and He will give him ear phones. Most of the time when I ask him to pray, he says he doesn’t want to but he did today. He prayed for headphones and believed he will get some! 🙂 It’s so simple yet touches Jesus’ heart even more than it touches mine. I am forever grateful to Jesus for moving us to such an incredible place where Phinneas and Anna can fall in love with Jesus in an atmosphere of day and night prayer and worship and learn how to touch His heart, hear His voice and be prepared as a forerunner for what is ahead of us.
I recently had an opportunity to go to a mom’s gathering at Ihop U. There were about 50 moms in one room and it was a time of getting to know one another and a teaching from Deborah Hiebert who is a leader here at Ihop KC. She has been here since the beginning to help build the house of prayer and is a mother of 4 kids, so she understands living life as a mom, a forerunner, and a wife. I’ve been struggling with the tension of wanting to be in the prayer room every day and not wanting to miss out on going deep in God. Day in and day out I watch Pat sit in the prayer room for hours at a time, hear teachings by incredible teachers, and fellowship with his peers. It’s been difficult for me to find my place of peace in the moment of time I’m in.
I’m a stay at home mother of two and spiritually where is my place? What am I here for? I’m in Kansas City, the one place I’ve longed to be for years which has caused my heart to also take advantage of all the opportunities here. My vision of what my life would be in Kansas City before arriving here and the actuality of everyday life has been two very different experiences. But please hear my heart pronounce, I am so grateful for what has become my own personal journey. I couldn’t imagine my life here without my children! Even now, as I type this blog, I am typing with one hand because Anna is hungry! Life as a mom!
As I sat and listened to Deborah Hiebert, my heart ached in a good way. I was so provoked, encouraged, inspired and motivated. She told a story of how her 6 yr. old daughter wanted tortillas with cinnamon and sugar for breakfast. This is obviously not a great breakfast food and she kept on asking for it even though Deborah was in the middle of making her a healthy breakfast. Her daughter kept on asking and asking and Deborah’s back was turned away from her in frustration. Just at that same time, the Holy Spirit spoke to her and instructed her to use that situation as a teaching moment of persistence. Deborah used a bible verse to explain to her daughter how Jesus loves persistence and it was just a wonderful outcome. Deborah thought this was just awesome! Then her older daughter spoke up and apologized to her mom for not listening when she was upset and pouted about not spending the night at a friends house. It was a domino effect. That moment touched all 4 of her children and touched Deborah as well when she realized that in that specific moment, in her weakest moment, Jesus could meet her. It was in her greatest weakness that was the escort into Jesus’ heart. When she told this story, my heart was pierced through.
Throughout the past 4-6 weeks, it’s become completely clear to me that my reason for living, my passion, my purpose of living in Kansas City is my children! They are my purpose. In those moments when I feel like I’m going to loose it, when Phinneas is throwing a fit, Anna is crying because she’s hungry, I’m exhausted, and dinner isn’t done. Exactly when I’m feeling the pressures of every day life, in those times when I am so incredibly weak, I realize that all I have to do is say ‘Holy Spirit help. I’m stuck’. He is so faithful to help and meet me where I am at. This realization touches my heart so deeply–even though I’m not in the prayer room as much as I would like to be, I am able to touch the heart of Jesus anytime I want. Throughout the day as I’m unloading the dishwasher, making dinner or changing a diaper, I can whisper to Him. I find myself quoting a verse or phrase to Him and I am instantly in His presence. There is great peace in this for me at this time in my life. I want to keep my gaze on Him, not on my ways or circumstances. To stay persistent, stay focused, and to learn to truly love.